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Divorce Agreement

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DIVORCE AGREEMENT-- WRITTEN BY YOUNG COLLEGE STUDENT The person who wrote this is a college student. Perhaps there is hope ...

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Old 11-13-2012, 05:42 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Divorce Agreement

The person who wrote this is a college student. Perhaps there is hope for us after all.



Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a our separation agreement:

--Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

--We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.

--You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
--Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.

--We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel.

--You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

--We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.

--You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.

--We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.

--We'll keep Bill O?Reilly, and Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

--You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

--You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

--We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

--You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

--We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.

--You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.

--We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.
--We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."

--I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".

--We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

--Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you might think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.


John J. Wall

Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & ( Hanoi ) Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.
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Old 11-13-2012, 07:55 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Old 11-13-2012, 08:01 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Old 11-14-2012, 05:03 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Divorce away. Sometimes you have to count your losses and move on. It is unrealistic at this time to think that we can come to a meeting of the mind. The two sides are so diametrically opposed and maintained in their state of ignorance by the media and our elected official, that we have no choice but to be resigned to the current results of our stupidity.

Where is the American Dream? or the American Ideal? It is fast being replaced by a self centered immoral migration to Hell.
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Old 11-14-2012, 05:49 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Old 11-14-2012, 07:25 PM   #6 (permalink)
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My wife confided in me this evening that she is still very concerned about our future. We're talking about an eternal optimist here. She has just lost her confidence in the people of this country and our Government to make smart decisions for our prosperity. She realizes that a majority of people are only concerned about whats in it for them (where's my free shit) instead of what's best for the country.

People are too concerned about their little social issues instead of getting the economy going again or paying down our debt. They are too short sighted to figure out that if we don't take care of the big picture first, their self centeredness will mean nothing. There will be no money for their entitlement programs, health care or any of the other petty concerns they have.

I fear I may have fueled her concerns as I feel the same way. I wish I could shelter her from what's going on in this world but she also needs to know so that we can see through the BS and get ourselves prepared for what may come.
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