The War Wagon
Full Access Member
The coach had assembled the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the college combines and even the Canadian and European leagues, but he couldn't find that superior athlete who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night while watching FOX News, he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank. In the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th story window 100yards away.
KABOOM!
He threw another hand grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!
"I've got to sign this guy!" the coach thought to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And sure enough, the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young man is hailed as the great new hero of the NFL during the locker room celebration. The commissioner presents him the MVP trophy, & when he asks him what he wants next, all the young man wants is to call his mother.
"Mom," he yells into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you", the old woman says. "You are not my son!"
Momentarily stunned, he says, "I don't think you understand, Mother - I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of adoring fans!"
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says,..........
"I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago!"
Then one night while watching FOX News, he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank. In the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th story window 100yards away.
KABOOM!
He threw another hand grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!
"I've got to sign this guy!" the coach thought to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And sure enough, the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young man is hailed as the great new hero of the NFL during the locker room celebration. The commissioner presents him the MVP trophy, & when he asks him what he wants next, all the young man wants is to call his mother.
"Mom," he yells into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you", the old woman says. "You are not my son!"
Momentarily stunned, he says, "I don't think you understand, Mother - I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of adoring fans!"
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says,..........
"I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago!"
